


Little Things

by HisanaRosa



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, M/M, Minor Spoilers, Mutual Pinning, Revelation Spoilers, Slash, platonic fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-20
Updated: 2016-05-20
Packaged: 2018-06-09 13:24:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6909061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HisanaRosa/pseuds/HisanaRosa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It all started when he began noticing the little things.<br/>Kaze wonders if he’s in love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Little Things

It all started when he began noticing the little things.

Kaze wonders if he's in love.  


* * *

He can't help but notice the little things.

He notices the way Kamui looks at both his siblings with a mix of resentment, regret, familiarity and loss. Resentment that he was essentially abandoned, regret that he couldn't stay with them because Kamui couldn't bear the thought of hurting any of them, familiarity with the way they speak and the way they act, and loss because he will never be able to look at them the way they look at him, like family.

Kaze sees the slight clenching of Kamui's fists when he talks to one of his siblings, and the faraway look in his eyes when he sees them talking to each other, like he is remembering something from the past.

He sees the uncomfortable look on Kamui's face when Hinoka makes him ride her Pegasus with her, when Sakura shares her sweets with him, when Takumi tries to teach him how to wield a bow and when Ryoma tries to teach him about Hoshidan culture. Kaze knows that his lord can't remember any of his family, and he notices that Kamui is uncomfortable being with his siblings he did not know. He is experiencing culture shock and Kaze doesn't ask about it.

He notices the slight look of guilt and regret when Camilla wraps an arm around him, when Elise grabs his arms, when Leo comes to lend him a book and when Xander calls him 'little prince'. Like he knows that things can't go back to how they were before, and they can't. Kamui is too haunted by his choices and his siblings don't notice the thinly-vieled madness in his eyes.

It's all a part of war and it leaves a bitter taste in Kaze's mouth.  


* * *

He notices the grace Kamui has in the battlefield.

Kamui does not seem to notice how commanding he is at battle. His eyes glint with determination and power, and his voice can make even generals follow him. He has the posture of a seasoned warrior, and he strikes his enemies down with no bloodlust, sparing them if he can.

He still managed to be kind in war and it charms people to fight by his side.

He holds Yato with a strong, confident grip. He moves and swings like it's an extension of his body. Kaze cannot help but be entranced at the way Kamui fights with fancy sword work, sound tactics and acrobatic movements, showing off his flexibility with each dodge calculated with finesse. He is swift and does not linger. He does not cause prolonged pain unless necessary. He was like a storm, devastating yet fascinating to watch.

He looks like he is performing in a bloodstained stage with several corpses. Kamui moves with deadly grace, his sword shines when the sun hits its blade. His allies are his audience and Kaze cannot help but be captivated with his dangerous dance.  
  


The next time Kaze saw Kamui was when he saw him on the market.

Kamui was talking happily to Azura while pointing to a shop that sold sweets. They were both wearing disguises.

Kamui had black hair, courtesy of Hayato's magic, and blue eyes, happily dragging around Azura, who had long silver hair and gray eyes. The both of them were wearing scarves that helped cover some of their facial features. Oboro also applied makeup on them, making their eyes look smaller and their sharp features softer.

They stopped by a neutral village, restocking on their supplies while taking a short break from the war. Their group was tired with all the war, and they needed more supplies. Thankfully, they were well-disguised and managed to recuperate in their walls without much incident.

The both of them were wearing ordinary civilian wear, yet both of them looked amazing. Azura carries herself with grace only she could possess and Kamui has the air of innocence and kindness emanating from his being. It turns heads left and right and it makes Kaze uncomfortable.

Kaze remembers how people took his disguise. The women talked to him with a giggle or two while looking at him intensely. They gave him gifts and food for visiting and after the day ended he was carrying so many baskets he wondered how he managed to bring them back to camp. It made him somewhat nervous.

He looks at Kamui, who was being given free candy by an old lady who was gushing over him. He could also see several females cooing over how adorable he is and how soft his hair looked, looking at the two of them with glazed eyes. The ninja could also see some males blushing and looking at both Kamui and Azura, some were whispering about how cute those two girls were. Kaze wondered how they could have thought that Kamui was female when he was clearly male. He had an Addams apple after all.

Kamui, however, was oblivious to it all. He was busy munching on some of the candies, thanking the old lady profusely while trying to pay for the candies. It made the onlookers swoon at the polite young man. Kaze could see that the songstress was amused by the situation, her lips curled up into a rare smile.

Kamui turned to look at the street and saw him. He smiled and waved goodbye at the old lady before walking towards the ninja. Azura followed behind him, looking at the prince amusedly.

"Hi, Kaze! Fancy meeting you here." He chirped while offering some candy. "Want some?" Kaze almost blushed when he saw the cute puppy look on the prince's face.

"…I'll take one please." He opened his hand and Kamui dropped a piece of candy.

"It's cherry flavored too!" Kaze smiled at how enthusiastic the smaller male was. He was being so cute, chattering excitedly and waving his arms around in a childish manner. It was a refreshing site.

"Oh, what are those? Those look heavy." Kamui pointed at the basket the ninja held.

"These? A woman gave it to me after I helped her gather her fallen goods." Kaze opened the basket, revealing a variety of fruits. "I think she was a too generous. This is too much for just some help. She even hugged me while shrieking in gratitude." He grimaced at the amount of food in the basket and at the odd behavior of the woman

The other two just looked at him blankly. Azura barely managed to hold back a chuckle at how dense Kaze was.

"…You mean you didn't notice?" Kamui muttered after a moment of silence. The ninja just looked at him with confusion.

"Oh my…" The princess chuckled. "You're quite oblivious, aren't you?" She quirked her lips at the clueless look Kaze gave her.

"Kaze… What we mean is, women are into you. Like, a lot. They think you're handsome." The prince said while grabbing his arm and looking at the group of ladies that were watching them while giggling to each other

"But my face is not that attractive." Kaze wondered why the both of them looked at him incredulously. Kamui just slapped his face in exasperation.

"Kaze, trust me. You're very handsome with a kind yet mysterious personality. Women like that a lot." Kamui then elbowed the princess beside him who was shaking with suppressed laughter. "Stop laughing at me and help explain!"

"Hmm…I am afraid that I am not fully suited to explain such matters." Azura could not help but quirk her lips in amusement at her friend's plight.

"You're just popular with the ladies. " He decided after a minute of deliberation. It seems that the only way for Kaze to understand was to be frank. "Yeah. They're curious about you, I guess. It helps that you're a ninja."

"Popular…with the ladies" Kaze seemed unsettled with Kamui's conclusion.

"In fact, when I was roaming around with Silas just a few hours ago, I heard some of the local women say that there's a foreign ninja that looks so dreamy." The prince said while shrugging.

"I see… I appreciate the praise but I would prefer to focus on my duties and keep such silly distractions to a minimum." The ninja said with a straight face.

"So serious! Most men dream of getting this kind of attention you know?" Kamui said cheerily while poking the ninja, Azura nodding alongside him.

"Indeed. I seem to recall one of our soldiers lamenting over his lack of 'sexual appeal to the ladies'." The princess said while running a hand through her hair.

"I'm merely behaving like any self-respecting ninja should. Besides, I am far from a kind man." The ninja said while crossing his arms.

"Hm? Why would you say that?" The prince asked while pouting. "You're pretty nice, you know." Kamui stared pointedly at the ninja.

"…It's nothing. Now if you'll excuse me. I have an urgent matter to attend to." The ninja put his fingers together and disappeared in a plume of smoke. Kamui coughed at the smoke while Azura waved a hand to fan it away.

"Wow! He's gone just like that! Ninjas are so cool…" The prince said while gawking at the smoke.

"It's so easy to amuse you Kamui." The princess looked at the happy man, who was eating one of his sweets with a goofy smile.

"Yep! But… I wonder what he meant by that, though." He said while walking towards another stall, looking at some baked potatoes.

"Hmm?" Azura raised an eyebrow while eyeing a particular store that sold some very cute merchandise.

"I mean, the fact that he thinks he's not a good man." Kamui followed her to the stall, looking at the colorful products.

"Who knows?" Azura mumbled, looking at the corner of the street with an unreadable look, before pointing out a cherry blossom themed bracelet at the smaller male. "Do you think Sakura would like this?"

"I'm pretty sure she will! It's very pretty!" Kamui gave her a bright smile, holding the little bracelet tenderly. It would suit the shy girl greatly, and Kamui looks forward to giving it to her with Azura.

A shadowy figure looked silently at the two while sitting on a tree branch at the direction Azura looked at. He watches them act like siblings, buying gifts for the siblings they have come to love, trying to make up for lost time.

Kaze wished things could stay this peaceful, if only for his lord's sake.  


* * *

He notices the fondness his liege has for Silas.

He notices the small smile Kamui gives to the silver haired man when he tells him tales of the past, filled with childhood promises and adventures. The man knows what his dreams were, what his favorite food were, where he wanted to travel to when he was younger, what his hobbies and likes were and it pleases his lord to know that he cares enough to remember after all these years.

He sees the way Silas looks at Kamui like he is one of the most precious things in the world, forsaking his own kingdom for the sake of a friend who sees him as a stranger. It's so noble and kind that it manages to win Kamui over, returning their relationship back to when they were children.

They look happy together. Silas smiles a bit wider and his movements are much more intense. His excitement makes him speak loudly and look like a happy puppy. Kamui is amused with how child-like Silas is and chuckles at his puppy-like tendencies. They fit together like a puzzle and it makes Kaze feel even worse.

Kaze wonders why seeing them together makes his chest ache.  


* * *

Kaze notices the dark bags under Kamui's eyes.

Kaze first sees how haggard he looked when they were hearing about how the King of Nohr is making the war worse. Garon wanted to destroy both Nohr and Hoshido. He didn't care about his citizens! Children were starving and most of the people are experiencing poverty.

He realizes that Kamui cannot sleep because he feels guilty. Guilty because no matter how hard he fights, he cannot stop this pointless war.

He waits until Kamui is all alone.

It was a few hours after the meeting when he saw Kamui walking down the hallway with a small lamp.

"Ah, hello Kaze!" His lord said with a cheerful smile, but Kaze knew about how distraught he was. He sees how he keeps on clenching his fists, and how he frowns when he thinks no one is looking.

He wore a simple robe that could not have been warm enough. He could see the faint shivers from the smaller male's frame, and he could see his bare feet getting redder due to the cold.

"Milord. It must be cold out here." Kaze walked closer, untying his scarf to lay it on his protesting lord's shoulders.

"But Kaze, what about you?" Kamui asked the older man, trying to give the wine-colored scarf back. But Kaze just tied it back to his neck again.

"I'll be fine, milord. Your health is much more important to this war." It seems to be the wrong thing to say. Kamui's mood darkened, his smile turning into a frown.

"…I'm not exactly that important, you know." The prince said with a sad smile.

"But most of our people fight for your sake." Kaze pointed out to him. "Lady Sakura, Lady Camilla and Lady Elise never wanted to fight against you from the start. Lord Takumi and Lady Hinoka understood our goals after crossing swords with you. Lord Ryoma managed to listen to reason and chose you instead of his country. Lord Leo and Lord Xander came to you because they think you can save both kingdoms." Kamui stayed silent.

"You are the hope of our world. Most of our troops would fight to the death for you. Even some of our enemies became our allies because of you. If you were gone… they might wage war on each other." Kaze wonders if the prince notices their devotion to him. Even Saizo, his twin who is loyal to Ryoma alone, is devoted to Kamui in his own way. And his siblings, regardless of what they say, would gladly wage war on their father to keep him safe.

"You people look at me like I'm… like I'm a hero. But… If I'm really that vital to this war…" He bit into his lip, trying to hold back tears.

"Why can't I end this nonsense?" Kamui sobbed, tears falling down his face. Kaze realizes the weight he must have been carrying on his shoulders. He realizes that at the beginning of this war, he had been alone. His siblings had basically abandoned him when he chose not to side with anyone, vowing to kill him because they had a duty to their respective kingdoms. Their priorities had changed since they sided with Kamui, but the damage has been done.

They continued to fight a pointless war instead of listening to reason. He realizes the pain and misery he feels but keeps hidden because he needs to stay strong. He is their leader in this war and if he breaks down, it could decrease moral or make his siblings fight with themselves.

Kaze realizes that he is also a contributor to his pain, not moving to help the fragile male when he did not join Hoshido. He looks at the prince who was sobbing like he hadn't cried in a long time.

It felt horrible.

Kaze walks closer his lord. He put a hesitant hand on his head, running his fingers through the prince's hair. It was surprisingly soft and fluffy. He remembers his father doing the same when he cried, back when he was a child. It brought Kaze comfort back then so maybe it would bring some peace to his lord.

Kamui looked at him weirdly.

"What are you doing?" He asked while sniffing softly. Kaze grabbed the end of his scarf and wiped the tears off his face, contemplating on what to say.

"…My father used to do this to me when I cried back as a child." The ninja admitted while patting the smaller male's head. Kamui looked like he had a hard time imagining Kaze crying.

"… I can't imagine you crying." Kamui said blankly. "It's like seeing Saizo smile. Or seeing Takumi cry. Or, I don't know, seeing Sakura scream murder." Kaze's lips twitched at the image of the soft-hearted princess screaming angrily.

"Contrary to the popular belief, my brother does know how to smile." Kaze chuckled at the disbelieving look on his lord's face. "And I remember hearing stories about how Lord Takumi used to be a crybaby." Kamui choked at the thought of a child Takumi crying.

"I will not believe it until I see it. The both of them." The both of them looked at each other in silence before laughing.

"I'd rather not see Sakura snap though. That I can live without." Kamui shuddered at the mental image.

Kaze knows that he is bad with words. He does not know how to make people smile like Felicia does, nor does he know what to say like Silas does. He cannot bring himself to say the words that he wants to say. So he settles for trying to cheer up Kamui with actions.

It seems to work like a charm, much to his disbelief.

He stops patting the smaller male's head. He instead engages in small talk about things Kamui wants to know. He talks about Takumi and Hinoka's childhood, give his opinion about several rumors and tells the prince some things about Hoshido.

They ended up talking for hours until Kaze realizes it's one in the morning.

"It is late, milord. You should go to sleep." Kamui looks at the clock. It's one am. Most of the lights are out and Kamui's lamp is the only light source in the hall.

"I didn't realize I took so much of your time! I'm so sorry Kaze!" Kamui apologizes repeatedly, blushing in embarrassment much to the ninja's amusement. They walked together back to Kamui's tree house, Kamui shivering from the cold ground. The ninja cannot help but wonder about his lord's aversion to footwear.

"It is fine. I enjoyed it anyway. It is nice to learn more about you." Kaze smiled before opening the door to Kamui's room. "Goodnight milord." Kaze bowed before poofing out of the doorway, going back to his quarters.

He does not look back to the small blush on the prince's face, nor his grateful smile as he nuzzles with the scarf Kaze lent to him.  


* * *

Kaze was walking with Kamui under the harsh sun. The both of them were carrying baskets of meat, fish and vegtables.

Kamui wanted to go get some supplies since everyone had been so busy. Jakob was adamant that the others could go and get the supplies but Kamui managed to convince the overprotective butler into letting him help by saying that Kaze would protect him, grabbing the ninja by the arm and basically dragging him to the forest.

Kaze shuddered at the look of pure anger and hate on Jakob's face when he saw the smaller male drag the ninja away with a sweet smile.

The butler's attitude was unlike Felicia's. Felicia was sweet and kind, trying her best but just utterly failing. It was hard to get mad at her when she would try and try to get better. Jakob, on the other hand, was rude, sarcastic and just plain unpleasant to anyone else but Kamui. Even some of the royals had a hard time talking to him.

What made it worse was the fact that Jakob was hyper-competent. He was adept as household chores, but he was even more of a monster in the field of combat. He skewered his victims with a knife of all things while smiling angelically. Almost everyone is scared of him and Kaze is not afraid to say that he is wary of Jakob.

He was brought out of his musings by a heavy sigh, courtesy of Kamui. He looked at the prince and wondered if anything was bothering him.

"Hey Kaze, let's rest for a while." The ninja stopped walking to turn to Kamui. The smaller male put his baskets down under the shade of a peach tree and sat down. He patted the space next to him as an invitation for the older male to sit down. Kaze set his baskets down beside Kamui's and sat down next to him, looking at the sky above.

The clouds floated by slowly. It was almost annoying how perfect the weather was. Kaze stayed alert, looking at his surroundings to make sure nothing would ambush them.

"Do you think things could go back to how they used to be?" Kaze could see the pensive look in Kamui's face while looking at the clouds. The look on his face is too serious, especially for one that shines brighter than the sun itself.

Kaze stares at the tension in Kamui's shoulders, along with the clenching of his fists. He watches as the prince curls his arms on his knees and rests his chin on his hands. His face is blanker than he has ever seen before. It was an expression that was tainted by war.

Kaze wonders if he can give a proper answer. Not when there is tension between him and his brother. Not when he is plagued by the cruelty of war. Nevertheless, he will answer truthfully. He owes Kamui that, at least.

"Only you would know the answer to that, milord." Kaze decided after a moment of silence. He licks his lips and continues.

"People are resilient. Even in war and hardships they find ways to rise again. But sometimes even trying isn't enough. There are some things that cannot go back the way they were." Kamui sees the honesty in Kaze's words, even if it cuts deep into his chest. He knows that the ninja is right, but he cannot quell the hope that things will go back to the way they were.

"Do you really believe that?" Kaze could see the faint traces of denial in Kamui's eyes. He knows that the prince wants to regain his lost innocence. He knows the prince wants to go back to those times when his hands were not soaked in blood, and it makes Kaze's chest ache when he remembers the pain of war.

"I do." There are plenty of words unspoken between them, but they do not bother vocalizing it. Kamui is hesitant to destroy the peace by asking a sensitive question, and he recognizes the look in Kaze's eyes when he does not want to elaborate.

He instead decides to smile. He stands up from his cozy spot, dusts off his clothes and gathers the baskets. He opens his hand and helps Kaze sit up.

"I see. Thank you for humoring me, Kaze." Kamui smiled at the older man, patting his shoulder while looking at the sky above.

The perfect weather almost made them drowsy. Despite the harsh sunlight, the shade, and the wind made it the perfect temperature to take a nap. It was a beautiful day, they managed to gather enough supplies to last their little army for a few days.

But Kaze realizes the utter darkness that lurks in Kamui's eyes. He wonders if their regrets can be washed away with time.  


* * *

Kaze notices his lord keeps calling him a good person.

"…You're such a good person, you know?" Kamui said jovially, wearing the scarf that Kaze had lent to him yet again. It was a chilly morning and it was too cold to go out in just a shirt and pants without getting sick. "I bet Saizo is proud to have you as a brother!" He beamed at the ninja.

Kaze stopped what he was doing and stared at his lord.

"I'm not a good person." Kamui huffed at the remark.

"Oh really?" He looked at Kaze fiercely, as if challenging him to tell him he's wrong. "The man who keeps lending me his scarf because he doesn't want me to be sick, who cheered me up when I was crying like a baby, who is basically taking care of me all the time without expecting payment is a bad person?" He raised his eyebrows at the man.

"…I do not wish to talk about it." Kamui frowned at Kaze's tone. The ninja kept quiet, unable to look at him in the eyes.

"You know you can talk to me right?" Kamui said after a moment of silence. He walked near Kaze and sat down on the ground, prompting him to do the same.

They sat in silence, neither willing to give up. Kamui looked at Kaze stubbornly, trying to make him talk.

But Kaze would not budge.

"Speak up or I'll have Silas try to play psychiatrist with you!" Kamui threatened, standing up to get Silas. Kaze feels anger clouding his judgement, hazy with ugly emotions he refuses to name.. It made it hard to breathe.

"No!" Kaze grabbed his arm, pulling him down. He doesn't want to see his lord near Silas. It is irrational and childish but he does not want to see them together.

"…Kaze?" Kamui looked at him with a worried expression. Kaze held onto his hand tightly.

"Please, milord…" Kaze didn't want to lose Kamui. He knew if he told him, Kaze would never be able to see him again. He couldn't bear the thought of losing the person he has come to cherish.

He can't help but feel guilty.

"I'm so sorry," Kaze whispered, leaning against the smaller male. "I'm so sorry for everything. There are things that I cannot repent for." Kamui looked at him with wide eyes.

"It was my fault you were kidnapped and taken to Nohr…" He admitted. "When we were at Cheve, I noticed there were Nohr soldiers. The same soldiers that would later kill Sumeragi and take you away."

"But I was young, and I didn't know what their presence meant… so I said nothing." Kaze said while holding his face with his hands. "I have been trained since I was young, coming from a family that had served as retainers… I should have known. I should have paid with my life for my incompetence."

"I have caused you and your birth family so much pain. I should not even be allowed to speak with you!" Kaze closed his eyes in guilt. He was waiting for Kamui to scream and tell him it was his fault. He was waiting for him to tell him to never come near him again. But nothing happened.

Kaze opened his eyes when he felt a hand caress his cheek. His eyes widened when he saw the look on his lord's face.

Kamui looked at him with tears falling down his face.

"I'm so sorry! You didn't do anything wrong!" Kamui sobbed, wrapping his arms around the older man's waist. "You must have been so tortured, carrying that guilt for years!" Kaze wrapped an arm around his waist. He feels relieved at what had transpired. He can stay by his lord's side and it almost brings tears to his eyes.

That was not the reaction he was expecting.

"We can't let the rest of our lives be defined by past mistakes." Kamui wiped a tear that fell from Kaze's eye. He does not notice he's crying. "Besides…"

"You were the one who returned me to Hoshido, didn't you?" The prince let out a soft smile. "You traveled to get me from the Flame Tribe. And you stood by my side, ever since then."

"You don't realize, do you? You gave me a chance to be with them again… And you even betrayed your own country to stay with me back at Fort Jinya. You've sacrificed so much for my sake. I can't be angry at you." The ninja simply stayed silent.

Seeing Kamui like this reminded Kaze of Lady Mikoto. The both of them were benevolent and kind, someone he would willingly follow until the end. But… Kamui shined brighter than Lady Mikoto ever could. Kaze wanted to protect that light. He looked at the prince, and made up his mind.

"Milord…please let me be your retainer. Let me stay with you until the end." Kaze smiled at Kamui, who looked surprised.

"A retainer?" The ninja nodded.

"Yes. As you can see, the Hoshidan royals have two retainers. Subaki and Hana serve Lady Sakura, Azama and Setsuna serve Lady Hinoka, Hinata and Oboro serve Lord Takumi, Saizo and Kagero serve Lord Ryoma, and Reina and Orochi served Queen Mikoto when she was alive." He pointed out to the prince.

"Hoshidan retainers come from prominent families that have served the crown for years. They are trained from birth to become their protectors and shadows. They usually feel strong loyalty to their Lords, but I have not. Lady Mikoto welcomed me despite this. Perhaps… she had always known I would become loyal to you." So Kaze knelt down and bowed to his prince. "Would you give me the honor of being your retainer? To repent for past mistakes, and let me serve you for the rest of my life?"

Kamui looked at him with wide eyes. A moment of silence followed as Kaze sighed, he knew it would be a long shot. But when he was about to get up the prince grabbed his hand with small, slender fingers before letting out a small smile.

It looked so different from his other smiles.

His usual smiles were large toothy grins with dimples appearing on his cheeks that were accompanied by loud, twinkling laughter. This smile however, was soft and tender, filled with warmth and fondness that it made his heart skip a beat. His fingers were soft and slender despite all his training and feeling them clutch into his hand made him blush.

"I'll be happy if you become my retainer!" Kamui helped the older man up while flashing his usual grin.

"Are you sure that you'd rather serve me, though? I mean… I was raised in Nohr and all. Wouldn't that be frowned upon?" The prince pressed his fingers together while looking away, trying not to meet the eyes of Kaze.

"Of course. I cannot imagine serving another lord." He smiled tenderly at the smaller male. "Now, as your retainer, I hereby vow to protect you with my life."

"Let's hope it doesn't come to that." Kamui grabbed the older man's hand with a smile, before tugging them over to a tree and sitting down, dragging the ninja with him. They ended up as a heap on the ground when he miscalculated his strength. Kaze fell on top of Kamui, his arms preventing him from smothering the prince. The smaller male chuckled nervously at the position they landed on.

"Milord?" The ninja asked with a blush on his face. He can feel the warmth emanating from his lord's body, and it makes him even redder.

"Whoops." Kamui laughed nervously while patting the red-faced man's shoulder. "Can you get off me…?" Kaze got up in a flash and Kamui felt somewhat disappointed at the lack of warmth.

"I just wanted to sit next to you. I didn't mean for that to happen." The smaller male sat up, leaning against the tree on his back. He smiled when Kaze decided to sit next to him, both staring at the sky silently.

"I'm glad we got to talk today." Kamui leaned against the older man, basking at his warmth. The smaller male had always been sensitive to the cold, curling up against the warmth of his siblings when they slept together as children. He felt cold, and Kaze made the perfect human heater.

Kaze was warm and cozy and he made him feel safe. The scarf he had lent to him earlier made him feel warm and get butterflies in his stomach. The feeling he got being with him was a reprieve from the war and he was grateful for the chance to relax and understand him better. Kamui wondered if Kaze felt the same.

"So am I." The ninja smiled, strangely feeling at peace. He was not totally free from his guilt, and he is sure the guilt and regret will follow him until the end. But with the warm presence of Kamui by his side, he feels lighter than he has in years.

It was a bright, sunny day. The sky was blue with no clouds, the lake in front of them shined like diamonds and a gentle breeze blew by, making the leaves rustle. The sunlight made it perfectly warm, giving the trees fort shadows that served as shade. One could hear the birds sing and dance in the sky. It was a beautiful sight.

But right now, all that Kaze could see was Kamui and his smile.  


* * *

Kaze hears a familiar scream, and he moves.

He jumps down from the tree he had been hiding on and ran across the branches towards the home of his lord. His heart bangs against his chest and he finds it hard to breathe. Was it any enemy? He cursed himself for being careless and rushed to the tree house.

"Milord, are you alright?" He slammed the door open and ran to his lord's room. He looks around and sees no one. He silently took out his knives while internally cursing. As a ninja, he should be fighting in the shadows. Yet here he was, rushing towards a potential enemy blindly with rage coiling in his veins.

"Xander…Ryoma…" He hears the sobs of his prince, who was curled up in his bed. He has tears streaming down his face. The names of his siblings were muttered with increasing ferocity and heartbreak. The ninja silently walked towards Kamui, not knowing what to do.

"Milord?" Kaze gently shook the smaller male. He woke up with a panicked scream, grasping wildly at the ninja and trying to kick him. He dodged the kicks aimed at his torso before grabbing his hands and holding it on his sides, stopping the hysterical man's rampage.

It took a while for him to stop struggling, his arms going limp and his posture slowly turned calm. When clarity had finally returned to Kamui, Kaze stopped holding him in place. He began to profusely apologize, sitting up and bowing repeatedly.

"Oh my god, Kaze, I'm so sorry! I was just so scared and-" He stiffened when he felt arms wrap around him. Kaze held the small male like he was going to break, running his hand through the soft, white hair.

"I'm so sorry… I didn't notice how much pain you were carrying…" He mumbled against Kamui's hair, cradling the smaller male like he was trying to shield him from the world.

"I feared the for the worst when I heard you scream… I thought you were attacked… You sounded so pained…" He could still feel the pounding in his chest and the stress on his shoulders. Kamui wrapped an arm around the ninja's waist before dragging him down to the bed.

Kaze stiffened when Kamui curled up against him. He could feel him shaking against him, the smaller male tucked under his chin. His breathing was uneven and shaky while his fingers clenched against his waist. Their legs were entwined and their bodies were pressed together in a way that was suffocating. But it made Kamui feel safe. It had been a long time since he had felt so safe. He started to relax, his grip on Kaze's waist started to lessen.

The ninja ran a hand through the prince's hair, fingers combing through Kamui's white hair. The repetitive motion calmed them both.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Kaze murmured while holding Kamui tighter. He knows that talking about things is often a hit-and-miss scenario. There were times when talking about his problems felt lighter, but there were times when recalling his problems only made it harder for him to face reality. He wondered if Kamui trusted him enough to tell him about his troubles.

They spent the moment in silence. The both of them didn't dare move away from each other. Kaze could feel the smaller man's head press against the crook of his neck, small tufts of his hair tickling the older man's throat. But even if it was an uncomfortable position, he was still wearing his armor after all, he made sure that none of his blades would hit Kamui. But that meant that his arm was twisted in an angle that most people would be uncomfortable at.

"It was a nightmare." Kamui said after a moment of deliberation. He looked worn down. He had dark bags under his eyes, making him look even more fragile than before. Kaze brought his hand to the smaller male's face and rubbed the remaining tears away. He noticed that Kamui avoided eye contact, preferring to just press his face further against his neck.

Kamui's answer did not surprise Kaze. He knew that his mentality was compromised with all everyone turning against him and lives he had to take to pave way to peace. He looked at the scars that were barely hidden by the smaller male's loose shirt and wondered if Kamui could one day find peace with the blood in his hands.

"There was blood everywhere." Kamui refused to say anything else after that, staying silent and shifting so that he could press his head against Kaze's chest. Hearing the steady heartbeat made the smaller male relax, curling up against the ninja like a big cat.

"Do you…" 'want me to stay?' was unspoken between them. Kamui refused to look at Kaze's eyes and stayed silent, but the tightening of his fists told Kaze he wanted him to stay.

He silently stood up from the bed, making Kamui grumble and try to bring him back down. He removed the clasps of his armor and took out his hidden weapons, placing it on the table. He could tell Kamui was watching him, but he didn't know what was interesting about removing armor.

It was oddly intimate, slipping into the same bed as Kamui. But it felt so natural to gather him into his arms. Kaze could feel him grasp the edge of his sleeve, he could feel him breathe against his neck, and he could feel their legs becoming even more entwined with each other. He could feel Kamui falling asleep, his breaths slowing and his grip on his sleeve lessened.

After a few moments, Kaze decided to close his eyes and follow suit. He wraps his arms tighter against Kamui's waist and sleeps.

He does not wake up to nightmares, nor does he wake up to harsh sunlight hitting his face. He wakes up to slender fingers tracing random patterns to his cheek and soft white hair splayed over part of his face and neck. He opens his eyes to see crimson eyes gazing back at him.

He does not question the dampness on his shirt the next day, nor does he question the redness in Kamui's eyes.  


* * *

He visits the tree house after their next battle.

Kamui looks at him with a strange expression on his face. But there was no need to exchange words.

The both of them lean against each other, sitting down on Kamui's bed. Kaze knows that Kamui's hands are still shaking despite him facing the opposite direction. He saw that the prince's hands were covered in blood hours ago, along with his armor and hair.

Kamui has not, and never will enjoy killing. He will never enjoy having blood in his hands.

Kaze knows that the both of them will be haunted forever by the people they had slain in this life. They will forever carry these regrets caused by war.

But with Kamui next to him, shifting so that they could just lie on the bed, he feels strangely at peace. Kaze cradles him, hiding his face against Kamui's soft, white hair. It's liberating to feel Kamui's warmth next to him, and for the first time, Kaze can breathe without remembering the scent of blood.

"I'm scared," Kamui mumbled against the crook of Kaze's neck. "I don't want to die. Not when- not when we can end the war. I… I want to live to see Xander and Ryoma become Kings! I want to live to see Hoshido and Nohr become friends. I can't lose all the things I've come to love!" He choked out with tears falling from his face, grasping for the older man's hand.

"I won't let you die." Kaze tightened his fingers around the smaller hand. Just the thought of Kamui dying made his skin crawl.

They knew the day they would have to confront Anakos is near. Every battle and every enemy they kill brought them closer to ending the war. But defeat meant the end of their world and the reign of madness. Everyone was scared of dying when freedom was so close. But they were not scared of dying themselves, they were scared of leaving their loved ones behind. They were scared that whatever they did was for naught. That in the end, Anakos would reign over a mad world.

"Don't die either." Kamui shakily looped their fingers together with his thumb tracing circles on Kaze's knuckles. Kaze knew that he would break that promise as long as his lord would live to see the day. So he didn't answer and just stayed silent.

"…I'll try not to die." Kaze mumbled against the smaller male's white hair, slinging his hand protectively over his waist. It was unhealthy, how much they depended on each other for comfort and stability. But Kaze cannot imagine being like this to someone else.

"Good." Kamui closed his eyes and sighed. His shaking started to slow until it eventually stopped. He seemed to have cried himself to sleep. The shoulder of Kaze's shirt was wet with tears, but he didn't mind.

He closes his eyes and wonders if they would be free from their misery one day. He wonders if the both of them will live to see the war end. Kaze feels helpless, but a part of him still hopes for an era of peace.

Despite not believing in a God, not anymore, Kaze utters a soft prayer seeking for protection for him and his lord. He will stand by Kamui until the end.  


* * *

He wonders when he stopped thinking of Hoshido as home.

Kaze contemplates under the moonlight. He sits outside of Kamui's room, where the smaller male is talking to his siblings. It's obnoxiously noisy filled with happy laughter and snorts, but instead of making him irritated Kaze feels content.

He has never been fond of noise. Kaze is a ninja and a ninja must attack in the shadows. A ninja must be silent or else they would be spotted. Noise is their enemy and Kaze has been raised to avoid making such a ruckus. It is unbecoming for a ninja to be loud, it goes against everything they stand for. Noise makes it had to be stealthy, to kill without being notices and makes it hard to hide in the shadows.

Instead hearing laughter brings normality. Normal is no longer the silent palace where the royals lived. Normal is no longer the silent clearing filled with cherry blossoms and sparkling lakes.

Normal has, however, become extremely different. Waking up to the delicious scent of breakfast and eating in a mess hall filled with fighters from both sides has become normal. Kaze has become accustomed to the rambunctious laughter of Orochi when she finds something funny. He has become used to seeing Laslow and Azura practice singing and dancing under the moon. He is used to yells and arguing and jokes and it feels so normal to be surrounded by the people around him.

It has become normal to see Lord Takumi and Prince Leo bicker with each other. The two had become friends like Ryoma and Xander after a few battles and the two were rather loud when it came to their infamous shouting matches.

That is why when he had gone back to Hoshido to give a message to Yukimura, he was unsettled by how silent everything was. He could barely hear the voices of the villagers. He could not hear a single laugh at all. Even the cherry blossom trees Kaze was so fond of watching looked bleak compared to the lively berry trees that Kaze and Kamui would hang out on. Even Yukimura seemed to notice how uneasy he was.

Hoshido, the land of the rising sun, had been where Saizo and Kaze were born. It was here that he was raised and trained to become a ninja that served as retainers for the royal family, a warrior that struck from the shadows. It was where he had lived for twenty years, a place he loved and would die for. But he had stopped thinking of Hoshido as his home.

Instead, familiar white hair and warm red eyes came into mind when he thought of home. He sees a tree house filled with laughter and the scent of tea. When he thinks about home, he remembers the warmth of another person beside him, he remembers running a hand down white, soft hair and he remembers the soothing voice of Kamui. Everything he sees, hears, and smells reminds him of Kamui. In the end, everything drifts back to Kamui.

He wonders if a person could feel like home.

But then he remembers Kamui smiling so brightly that it rivals the sun. He remembers the twinkling sound of his laughter, the feel of his soft, white hair against his fingers and the sound of his breathing. He remembers the way his heart started to beat faster when Kamui is in his arms. Then suddenly, it's not so hard to think of Kamui as home.

Kaze wonders if he's in love.  
  


"Aren't you homesick, Kaze?" Kamui asked him while carrying some supplies to the castle. They were rebuilding Valla with the cooperation of both Nohr and Hoshido. Ryoma and Xander were busy fixing their respective kingdoms so they sent Leo and Takumi to help in the rebuilding of the Invisible Kingdom.

Anakos was stopped, and peace was brought into their world. It felt surreal, being stuck in an endless war, only to learn that a dragon, of all things, was the mastermind of this entire mess. Kaze still felt like he was dreaming.

But the prince's question brought back confusing feelings, like the butterflies in his stomach. The prince began to fidget under his stare at the odd question. Thinking hard about it, he shook his head.

"No, not really." Kamui blinked at the answer.

"You aren't? I mean, when I was running away from both kingdoms, I would think about Nohr all the time." Kamui admitted to the ninja while opening the door to the castle. The construction was taking place in the castle. Numerous people were busy moving and working, with several retainers and even Takumi and Leon helping. The both of them put the supplies down the table, heaving slightly.

"That was heavy." Kamui groaned at the burning sensations in his muscles. He stretched his arms while wincing in pain. The both of them stood outside the castle doors of the destroyed castle, which was being fixed by several people. They were carrying concrete bags and other construction equipment. They put several open tents to serve as shade from the blistering sun. After the battle, the roof was completely destroyed along with several rooms, and everyone was working double time to fix all the kingdoms.

"How on earth does Mozu do this without feeling any pain?" He wondered at the strength of the tiny girl, who was carrying boxes of concrete excitedly while being followed by fatigued soldiers. Even Effie, whose biceps of steel were the bane of many enemies, started to actually look winded.

"It's because I used to do this back at home, but with produce instead!" Mozu exclaimed while slapping Kamui's shoulder, ignoring the yelp of pain from the man.

"Ouch, gentle, gentle!" He massaged his shoulder with a cute pout. He even crossed his arms to make himself look angrier, but it only made Kamui look like a cute, grumpy child.

"You sure are weaker than you look, Kamui!" Mozu laughed out loud with a cheerful grin. Kamui just pouted even more.

"I mean, come on! You can swing a sword and cut down enemies but you can't handle a bit of concrete?" Mozu teased him while elbowing him lightly. Kamui just huffed at the amused looks sent to his way.

"But those things are heavy!" He mumbled while trying to pick up one of the bags. He failed miserably. Even Azura managed to carry one with slight difficulty.

"Just leave this to us!" Warning bells rung at everyone's minds at the sound of Felicia's voice. She was carrying a bag of concrete without much difficulty while jogging. Everyone paled when she came near the pile of concrete.

"Don't you dare come near our supplies, Felicia!" Jakob yelled, following the pink-haired maid with a slightly deranged look. He was carrying piles and piles of concrete while managing to balance a tray of tea and cookies. "You'll just end up destroying everything!" Felicia yelped at the demonic butler, who was being completely enveloped in a black aura.

"This is gonna end in disaster…" Laslow groaned while covering his eyes with his hands. He wondered what he did in his life to deserve being surrounded by these crazies.

"Argh! Even a hero like me cannot stop such darkness!" Odin yelled while pointing a finger at Jakob. The man ignored him and instead chased the crying maid, who ended up tripping over the piles of concrete.

"Alas! I must do everything in my power to save the maiden from your evilness. I, Odin Dark, will-" Laslow covered Odin's mouth with a hand.

"Do you have a death wish?" He whispered harshly while covering the suffocating man's mouth. "Because I don't and you'll get us all killed!"

"I think he can't breathe." Selena told Laslow with a straight face. The silver-haired man put his hand away, letting Odin breathe again.

"The darkness thanks thee, Selen-" Selena just smacked Odin in the head. He dramatically fell on the floor, twitching slightly at the unfairness of it all.

"Oof… What has I, Odin Dark, done to deserve such contempt from my fellow retainers? Have my darkness swallowed your hearts whole, rendering you incapable of-" A dark glare from Selena made him squeak and shut up.

Kamui, Kaze and Mozu watched as a peaceful afternoon turns into a chaos filled nightmare. Felicia was sobbing wildly while being dragged away by Jakob who was seething. Laslow and Selena were ganging up on Odin, who was being scolded for tempting fate.

"…We'll just go." Kamui sighed and massaged his temples. "I have to go save Felicia from Jakob. Again." He waved goodbye at Mozu, who waved back.

"Well, you are the only one he listens to," Mozu said while shuddering. "I swear, that man scares me." Kaze looked at her with sympathy.

"Indeed." The both of them walked towards the direction Jakob dragged Felicia to, intent to save the poor girl from his wrath.

"I wonder what she broke this time." Kamui wondered as the both of them settled into their usual talks, walking side by side with a smile.

Even with the noise and the chaos of people rebuilding themselves from the war, Everything that Kaze could think about was Kamui's unexpected question.  


* * *

"Milord?" Kaze called the smaller male, who was leaning against him while reading a book. The both of them were sitting on Kamui's bed, Kamui laid his head on Kaze's shoulder with the ninja listening to Kamui's soft mutterings with a big smile in his face. Even after the war, Kaze had continued to go to Kamui's room. Their little ritual have become so natural for the both of them that even Kaze can't sleep properly without Kamui. The both of them were leaning against each other, Kaze watched as Kamui read a book, looking at his little expressions with a fond smile.

"Hmm? What is it?" Kamui put his book down in order to look at the ninja. Kaze's breath hitched when he sees the small smile on Kamui's face. He wondered when he had become so enamored with this man.

"That's because I'm already home." Kaze looked away with a blush on his face. Kamui wondered about what he was talking about, until he remembered their conversation from the other day.

"Huh? Already home? We're in Valla, Kaze. Not in Hoshido." The prince gently teased the older man, putting a finger on the faint wrinkle on Kaze's brow.

"Unless you've forgotten, then you're getting old." Even Kaze cannot get angry at such a playful tone, even if the implication that he looks old is quite annoying. But with Kamui looking at him so prettily he cannot muster any sense of negative emotions

"Hoshido is not my home. Not anymore." Kamui looked at him with an unreadable expression.

"…Don't let Saizo hear that, Kaze." Kamui mumbled dryly at the ninja, who was chuckling at his blank statement.

"Well anyway, since you haven't exactly been in Valla long enough to think of it as home… do you mean the astral realm?" Kaze looked at him with amusement in his eyes.

"No." Kamui frowned at the admission. He remembers the other places they have gone to, Cheve, Mokushu, and he cannot guess.

"Huh? Then where is your home? At Cheve?" It had become a game to them, guessing where Kaze's home was. But whatever Kamui said, the ninja would just look at him amusedly and say no.

"Then tell me already! You look a bit too amused for my tastes." Kamui huffed at Kaze, frowning at how blasé the ninja was.

"…Home is where the heart is." Kamui rolled his eyes on that remark.

"What are you…?" He then realizes that Kaze is looking at him with a soft expression, a fond smile that made his heart skip a beat. Kaze is silent, the both of them are. But there was no need to share words when actions make everything so clear. Kamui finally understood the implications behind his words. Of course Kaze would confess in such a roundabout way.

"Oh…Oh." Kamui looked away, his cheeks red. He couldn't help but feel embarrassed at how flustered he was when Kaze looked like he just didn't indirectly confess his feelings to the prince.

"Is something wrong?" Kaze looked at the smaller man, who was still avoiding any kind of eye contact. He wondered if he made Kamui feel awkward with the sudden confession. He was about to say that he could leave when Kamui grabbed his hand.

The both of them relaxed at the contact. Kamui let his fingers linger on Kaze's knuckles, tracing random patterns on them before grabbing his hand to lock their fingers together.

They have done this so many times, holding hands and embracing. But there was a sense of intimacy currently present that made the both of them blush, yet it also felt so natural that they just couldn't bring themselves to stop.

"I'm glad." Kamui said with a smile, untangling his fingers from Kaze's hand in order to wrap his arms around his neck, bringing their foreheads to touch lightly with a smile.

"Me too." Kaze whispered, afraid to break this moment of peace between the both of them. The both of them just laughed softly at how sappy they felt. Kamui pushed him down to the bed, giggling lightly before lying down next to him.

The both of them could feel the warm rays of the sun. It was incredibly cozy, cozy enough to lull Kamui into slumber. He pressed his face into the crook of Kaze's neck, yawning cutely before falling asleep while clutching into Kaze's sleeve.

Kaze had to admit that he was afraid that this little incident could change their entire dynamic, that it would make them awkward and uncomfortable. But looking at the sleeping man curled up against him, it only made the both of them even more comfortable with each other.

He can't help but be amused at the situation. Thinking back, they were already acting like a couple before this incident. They rarely saw Kamui without Kaze and vice versa. The both of them were inseparable and they did almost everything together. They trained together, took strolls together, even slept in the same room and bed together. The only times they were not each other were during missions.

But now the war was over. There was no more need for bloodshed. The fighting was all over and Kaze cannot help but feel grateful to Kamui. He was grateful to the one who had given his life meaning. He was grateful to the one who made all his hardships worth it.

Kaze traced the sleeping prince's face with his fingers with a small, indulgent smile. He made sure to remember this moment. They way Kamui was pressed against him, the way he clutched his sleeve, the way his hair was splayed all over the pillow, the peaceful look on his face… it was all his. The realization makes him smile silly and feels giddy like a teenager. This man had chosen to be with him, and Kaze will be damned if he will ever let this wonderful man go.

He smiled as he nuzzled the top of his prince's head, feeling the soft, feathery hair tickle his cheeks with a smile. Kaze was a ninja, one who hid behind the shadows. He was Kamui's protector, and he will gladly give his life to protect his liege.

But right now he is Kamui's lover, the one who will treasure and cherish him for the rest of his life. Everything he could see, hear, smell and breathe was Kamui and he is happy to spend the rest of his life with the sleeping man.

Kaze closes his eyes and drifts into sleep with a smile on his face.


End file.
